2018-04-30: In memoriam, Odile (1960–2018)

My friend Odile died this past Saturday afternoon, April 28th, after a long battle with cancer. On Friday, I’d sent a couple of photos of me holding our first grandchild to Odile’s sister C, along with a few thoughts on “the circle of life.” C wrote yesterday that she was able to tell Odile the happy news on Saturday morning during Odile’s last lucid moments, after which Odile lapsed into unconsciousness and died a few hours later. (And yes, C used a close variant of the phrase “elle nous a quitté” — “she has left us.”)

I am glad Odile is no longer suffering, and that her loved ones are spared further pain in watching her suffer. She lasted far longer than I thought she would, and fought death like a tiger — not because she was afraid to die (at least such was her mindset when she and I talked so frankly about such things many months ago), but because she loved life so much. She had learned to live and rejoice in the moment.

She helped me when I needed help, going beyond cultural norms to do so. I know she thought of her intervention as small and insignificant, but just as the celebrated beating of a butterfly’s wings in China potentially creates a storm in the Atlantic, her small acts of kindness, her frankness and honesty, calmed me and helped me make important progress in overcoming the painful storm in my soul, and I will ever be grateful to her.

I hope in my heart of hearts to see her again.

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